After long nights and a lot of hard work, we are ready to unveil a new feature here at Guy Needs Girl. Finally putting to use that Bachelor’s in Computer Science, we’ve whipped up a handy application for rating girls. The next time there is an argument over who is better, solve it objectively with the “Is She a Ten?” Questionnaire. For those of you reading in email, you’ll need to click on this link, since despite all our technology, we still can’t deliver it to your inbox.

I read this on a tech blog:

Lawn Sign Singles, a $45 Million Operation

Translated from the analysis, the article discusses the signs you see in almost every city labeled “Single in Buffalo?” that point you to a custom website for that city (www.buffalosingles.com). In reality, they all funnel to a giant eerily-conspiratorial marketing campaign worth over $45 million. The company charges you $3,000 to $15,000 to find a suitable match in your area.

Well, I’m here to undercut the market. You buy me a sandwich from Subway (foot-long combo, I have standards) and I’ll set you up a campaign like mine. I’ll plaster your picture on Craigslist and every other dating website out there, weed out the weirdos, and whittle down the candidates to those within your league of what I call “Ken’s Scale of Social Worth”. If you want, I’ll even arrange the date and show up to introduce the two of you. For a weekly sandwich I’ll even go door-to-door, pestering your local book, music, or whatever other “hip” store works for your demographic. They want the price of a new car to get you a significant other, I just want to eat fresh and blog about it.