I thought for a change of pace I’d show you some of the mail I’ve gotten, and in continuation with this week’s theme, all of it has to do with porn. In case you’ve ever wondered how to launch a career in porn, these emails might help you out. (more…)
This letter first appeared on the Best of Craigslist, as seen here. In light of recent events, I’m reproducing it here as it seemed uniquely relevant. Little known Guy Needs Girl fact: the success of this ad was part of the catalyst for this site. Enjoy.
Dear Internet Porn,
These last ten years have been quite a trip, have they not? My letter to you now, however, is not one of celebration… I don’t feel like we are the same anymore. We just don’t have that passion we used to.
When we first met I was a loser, and you were there for me. My parents told me that you were no good for me, but I didn’t listen. You showed me that there were plenty of people like myself getting laid. It was beautiful and passionate. Your soft-core erotic videos were a tasteful introduction to my budding sexuality. (more…)
Let me paint the scene leading up to “the incident”.
We are in our living room and it is 3:20pm on a Saturday. We’re watching TV. The roomie gets up to use the bathroom when the following conversation occurs:
Her: “Kenneth! There is porn playing on your computer!”
Me: “Really? How embarrassing.”
A majority of the dates I go on are blind dates. A majority of those are bad blind dates. Don’t let my sacrifice to human curiosity and the search to get laid be lost. Here are Ken’s Regulations for Bad Blind Date Avoidance. (more…)
Jami at One Note Pony is a good friend of mine and serves as my personal DJ. Occasionally I ask her to make mixes, and here’s a special one that’s perfect for Guy Needs Girl. The next time your date is a real snoozer and you need to make a quick getaway, pop this beauty into the old cd machine. She’ll politely smile, then ask to be dropped off at the nearest corner.
If things backfire and she starts to sing along, then I hope that you brought your running shoes because her crazy meter is off of the charts. Or you could give in, rent a copy of Fatal Attraction, and go wild.
