

- Ken is excited about his date, posting the picture she sent.3:47pm -
- Ken has added a new photo.

Internet Dates - 17 photos
- Ken is calling his date to confirm.4:00pm -
- Ken is a little worried that his date was napping at 4pm, but still agrees to pick her up.4:02pm -
- Ken has been driving for over 30 minutes.4:34pm -
- Ken arrives, 1 hour and 15 minutes later, calls his date, finds her napping again.5:16pm -
- Ken doubts the picture his date sent was genuine, takes picture with camera phone for later comparison.5:19pm -
- Ken has added a new photo.

Internet Dates, In Person - 9 photos
- Ken will now refer to his date as the “Mumbler”.5:27pm -
- Ken waits while the Mumbler makes bed, but does not brush hair or change out of stretchy pants.5:37pm -
- Ken and the Mumbler are still driving to the restaurant she described as “just up the road”.6:00pm -
- Ken is tired of asking “What?” and “Say Again?” after everything she mutters.6:37pm -
- Ken arrives at a cheap burger stand 17 miles away, in the homeless Mecca of the city.7:03pm -
- Ken has noticed his date has not silenced her phone, enjoys frequent texting, and shows no interest in any topic.7:19pm -
- Ken waits patiently while Mumbler checks the head shop nearby for a rare piece.7:57pm -
- Ken isn’t very eager about his date’s suggestion to see her friend DJ at a local bar.8:22pm -
- Ken hangs around while the Mumbler has extensive yet incomprehensible conversation with DJ.8:47pm -
- Ken is glad he has an excuse for not hearing the Mumbler, waits for DJ to finish set.9:02pm -
- Ken is watching his date dump her purse out for organization. Her spare change is being categorized.9:14pm -
- Ken is relieved to be leaving.9:58pm -
- Ken has to stop the car five minutes from the bar. The Mumbler needs to pee.10:03pm -
- Ken contemplates leaving the Mumbler at the gas station.10:17pm -
- Ken is annoyed by the sarcastic reviews of his driving.10:22pm -
- Ken contemplates leaving the Mumbler on the side of the road, 23 miles from her house.10:23pm -
- Ken has dropped date off, but horrified by his need to pee, asks to use bathroom.10:55pm -
- Ken is preparing hasty retreat, notices that Mumbler changed from stretchy to cute pants, brushed hair, and is going out with friends.10:57pm -
- Ken has finally fled but it is still 45 minutes from home.11:13pm -
- Ken receives text: “Had a great time tonight, call me again sometime?”34 minutes ago -
One Response for "A Bad Date via Facebook"
This is excellent! The Facebook update format cuts out a lot of the exposition that might otherwise slow down an anecdote like this.
I don’t know if it’d be as poignant if you were to use it all the time — perhaps more useful in some contexts than others, but what do I know about storytelling? I listen to NPR.
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